OH NO...... I HAVE A CASE OF MOMMY GUILT!
“But mommy you promised”. Those are the dreadful words every mother hates to hear! Or “awwww man”. Yea I know the feeling all too well! It’s apart of “MOMMY GUILT”. The true definition of mom guilt is the feeling of moms constantly worrying about making mistakes, and trying to get everything right. It literally comes from an unrealistic ideal of a perfect mom. Speaking from personal experience it is a horrible feeling! it feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest! I feel sad, overwhelmed, hopeless, emotional, and drained mentally and physically. I experience these feelings quite a bit. As mothers we are naturally nurturers. So sometimes when we are caring for our children, we often put ourselves on the back burner. We stop caring for ourselves, and put all of our energy in trying to make the perfect choices all the time! Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely no shame in wanting to make clear choices for your family. However it gets to a point where it can become unhealthy holding yourself accountable for trying to be perfect!
As mothers we become really hard on ourselves when it comes to our children. It even trickles down to a place where we shut ourselves out of any kind of happiness or peace. I have sabotaged myself so many times doing this! I’ve turned down jobs, avoided going out, and stop being a social individual. I’ve even put my marriage on the back burner. Just trying to give my children all of my time, attention, and effort no matter at what cost! Whether it cost me my sleep, or my mental sanity! I never took a break! I never took time for myself! I lost myself trying to be the perfect mom! After recognizing the pattern, and realizing the strain it had on me mentally. I knew something had to change. I realized that I needed to prioritize myself and get to know myself all over again. I needed to learn myself all over again, and seek out things that resonated with my spirit. I had to learn what makes me happy! I had to learn to set boundaries for myself. This experience was an eye opener for me! Yes I am a mother. However that’s not all that I am! I am more than just a mom!
ARE YOU EXPERIENCING MOM GUILT? DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START? HERE’S A FEW TIPS TO HELP YOU START YOUR JOURNEY OF GAINING YOUR INDEPENDENCE BACK!
ACCEPTANCE- accept the fact that you are doing everything you can to be a great mom to your child(ren). Your child(ren) love you unconditionally!
NO SELF DOUBT- never question your motherhood skills because you’re feeling overwhelmed. Every woman operates differently as a mother. What works for someone else may not work for you and vice versa. Trust your instinct.
SELF CARE-always take time out for yourself! I can not stress this enough. Your children can not benefit from a worn out mom. Meditate, exercise, go out and get some fresh air, grab drinks with the girlfriends. Even if you’re coming home from work and just need that extra 10 minutes to decompress sitting in the car before walking in the house! Every little bit helps! Take time to yourself whenever you can fit it in!
TAKE OFF YOUR CAPE- you are not superwoman! We like to think that we are, but we are not! We are humans with feelings, and emotions. Don’t feel like you have to do it all in one day. Somethings can wait to be done. It’s ok if you don’t complete your lists of tasks. Leave something for the next day! Take the pressure off yourself.
GRACE- you’ve got to give yourself GRACE! Have the knowledge of knowing that motherhood isn’t easy, but you’re doing the best that you can! The mother you may be now is not the mother you were when you begin your journey! Embrace the process, learn the lessons, and feel accomplished of how far you’ve come!
I hope that this blog reaches alot of women that can relate! Please know you are not alone! This is only temporary and you will come out on the other side stronger! I promise you! I should know because I was once you!
I would love to get your views on this topic! Comment below and let me know if you have any experience with this! Tell me your thoughts and feelings, I would love to connect!
