I Do, Right?
So we all have that notion that marriage is all smiles, and fairytale weddings, with no problems what so ever right? WRONG! That couldn’t be further from the truth! Marriage is hard work, dedication, team work, understanding, and strength! It’s certainly not for the weak and faint! It really takes a lot to maintain a HEALTHY marriage! Well they say anything worth having is worth fighting for.
Me and my husband have been together for 19 years, and married for 6 . Believe me when I tell you, it ain’t no picnic! It’s been times where I’ve wanted to walk away, he’s wanted to walk away, we couldn’t communicate, we’ve allowed outsiders to disturb the peace within our relationship, we’ve truly been THROUGH IT! The only thing that remains the same is that we make a conscious effort to continuously choose one another! Because that’s what it’s about right? Life in general is about making choices! There are no shortcuts, no easy ways out, just choices!
I am at a stage in our marriage where I can appreciate and see the growth in our relationship! We aren’t perfect at all, but we are in a good space of now understanding each other, respecting each other and accepting our individual flaws! Not only in a marriage should you work on your relationship as a couple, but work on yourself as an individual! Yes once you get married you become one, however don’t lose site of your individuality! Because if you’re not constantly working to be a better you, how will you and your spouse be better together as a couple?
“Taking personal time to yourself individually helps create a closer bond with your spouse .”
The biggest argument me and my husband have all the time is over time to ourselves, and time alone with each other! Sounds crazy huh? But to be honest between opposite work schedules, 2 kids, 3 businesses, maintaining a household, and no babysitter it’s a real problem! Me and hubby love our kids so much that we strive to pour ourselves into them every chance we get! Which leaves no time to do the things we want to do individually or with one another! So after multiple arguments and discussions we’ve come to an agreement to make the effort to put each other first just a little bit more!
We had to come together and make some decisions! We decided to make a schedule! Sunday through Friday afternoons are our work days, and the kids are virtually learning Monday through Friday! Friday evenings are our date nights whether we stay in or go out! The kids are in bed on time like a regular school night. Once a month we decided to get a sitter, even if it’s for only a few hours to be alone, every minute of alone time counts! Saturdays are our family days. That means we spend the entire day as a family, well up until 9pm! LOL…We spend time playing games, having round table discussions, and just overall having fun. Now after 9pm that’s our personal time to unwind, talk, and spend time as a couple! No pressure of a date, just spontaneity. Going with the flow!
Also aside of that schedule we have our own individual schedules! Once a week I have my own personal self care day! Tuesday nights are made for self care for me! That’s the night that I do my manicures, pedicures, facial, and sip some wine! This is my way of relaxing and treating myself . Taking that necessary time to unwind does wonders for releasing and easing the stresses of the week! My husband spends his personal time catching up on sleep, catching up with friends, playing video games, and building projects of his liking! He has his things, and I have mine! This gives us a perfect balance to maintain a healthy relationship! There’s nothing wrong with having a little bit of structure. Every marriage is different, this is just what works for us!
“Always keep that romance flowing, date nights are a must!”
“The effort put forward is well worth the reward in marriage!”
